I'm overwhelmed by the colossal amount of news. At every second of every day, news gets pushed into my eyeballs and shoved into my ears. I'm tired of all of the pushing and shoving. But most of all, I'm tired of not being in the news. I do good work, and I have important stories to share. But only two types of people are in the news: celebrities and politicians. There is a third kind too: media personalities. These people make news by belting out opinions about the news—that's not news. That's not anything except a lot of clanging and clatter.

How about this for a headline: "Freelance graphic artist saves pennies for 10 years to buy her first home." Now that's news! And it's relevant to all people who want to buy their first home. Or, what about this: "Young woman finds killer solution to get rid of bottle flies." Do news people even know that bottle flies infested half of the nation's homes this past spring?

I want news that is relevant to my daily life and to attaining my dreams.

The American public will not suffer if news people stop writing about celebrities and stop quoting stupid things that politicians say. I mean, when is enough, enough? Today I read that Angelina and Brad issued a privacy plea to the press. Is this relevant to my life as a citizen? Isn't it more relevant to people who write the news? Media people should keep their problems to themselves.

I'll never be a celebrity or a politician. And I'd never crouch low enough to be a "media personality." Why would I want to bark at people like Chris Matthews? Or trash liberal soccer moms, like Ann Coulter? The last thing I want at the end of the day is to have these voices boinging around in my head.

So I guess this means that I'll never make the news. Even if I did something outrageously odd, I doubt I would make News of the Odd. That's how pathetically, unnewsworthy my life is.

But you know, I'm happy that my life is private. I don't want nosy news people digging into it. I'm glad that I don't have to inject Botox into my face and pile on make up too. All-in-all, I'm happy that I don't have a media image to protect. I just have my own image to protect. And that doesn't require being in the news.